Guy's Night Out
by Carrier of Heartbreak
Summary: A part of one big fanfic HTF series that I'm writing.


"All set yet?" Dusty shouted over to Chris. Heaving, Chris pushed the last medicine bag into the back of the car. Full to bursting, the car moaned over the weight of the luggage."I would have been done ten minutes ago if you guys woulda helped!" he protested. He angrily flung open the front door of the car, reveling Bobby, snoozing away. After receiving a hearty smack on the head, he hissed and shot awake."Wh-…What did I-*hic!*-miss?" he stuttered, obviously wasted. Eyeing a half-full whisky bottle, he sighed and cursed to himself."I don't know how we are going to survive this trip…of course, considering what we are, we probably won't…" he moaned. Dusty eyed him suspiciously."And what do you mean by that?" he asked cautiously. Chris flinched. He was supposed to be the only one who knew the secret about the re-animation process. He was threatened with certain death if he told, but what did he care? He would come back a few minutes after that."Nothing…" he lied. Walking over, he cheered up a distraught Flaky. She was huddling in a corner, trying with all of her might to talk Chris out of going on the camping trip. Worried sick, her eyes welled up with tears of regret."Why don't do want me to go so badly?" Chris asked, a little irritated. "It's just a simple camping trip! What could go wrong?" Flaky hit him in the gut."You know DARN well it's going to go wrong! You know how much I hate camping!" she yelled, starting to sob. She remembered her last camping trip which consisted of her being roasted alive, trapped within her sleeping bag."Flippy's locked up in the happy house! No need to worry, I'll be fine!" he sighed, though understanding Flaky's situation. She pounded on his chest, practically bruising him."You don't know what dying is like!" she sobbed. "First it's pain, then black!" Chris silenced her with a gentle kiss. He gave her the best 'I-promise-it'll-be-okay' that he could, and it seemed to work. She backed down a little, but still clung on to him like a mousetrap. At that moment, Simon entered grandly onto the back porch of his and Chris's house, slamming the door behind him. He was practically eating Petunia's face, not giving her time to breathe between glomps. Chris gagged at the scene. He considered taping and putting it onto a Vore-fetish site, but the thought quickly exited his his head, Chris went back to what he was doing. Flaky was right. He had never died before, and he wasn't exactly enthralled about starting. He wasn't one for pain. He never was. He was one of the few depressed beings who didn't like the thought of pain. As for Simon, who was happily dining on Petunia's face, he had died many times before. In Chris's mind, he was used to that the stuff was packed, goodbyes said, or in Simon's case, faces eaten, the four boys got into the car and drove off, not looking back at the cheerfully waving Petunia, or the sobbing Flaky.

"So, what's planned for when we get there?" asked Bobby excitedly. Simon, the driver, answered him after a few moments."Well, I left the planning to Lumpy, so I'm not sure what's going to happen yet! We'll just have to see when we get there!" he teased. Chris, Dusty, and Bobby gaped at him."WHAAAAT?!" they shouted simultaneously. "What the HELL were you thinking?!"Simon laughed. "You guys wanted a memorable vacation, and that's what I got you!" The three minors stayed silent, each of them thinking of the different possibilities of painful, bloody and ironic death that could result from that retarded moose's Bobby: "Oh, man…now what? He could have reserved us a cabin full of sharp things and serial killers! I want to go home…I miss my Katie!"For Dusty: "No! I don't want to die yet! I never even had a girlfriend! I still a friggin VIRGIN! I can't die without having…ooh! What's going to happen to us?"And for Chris, it was: "Oh my god…Flaky was right! Man, I should have listened to her! Now I have to die with the fact that I lied to her fresh in my mind! Crap!"The drive went on without incident, a rare thing for them. Their minds blank, they hardly noticed the decline of trees outside the window, leading up to a point where they drove by a big sign stating: WARNING! STEEP CLIFFS! HAVE FUN!Simon drove right by, not noticing the sign in the slightest, whistling and humming the HTF theme song. Chris, in the meantime, noticed the sign and was whispering softly to Dusty, who in return nodded and whispered back. This was followed by some scribbling, and Dusty tapping Bobby on the shoulder, out of sight of hold of the note that Dusty had just handed him, he opened it and read it in a place where Simon couldn't see. Silently, he read: this is crazy. on the count of three dusty is going to scream to get simon's attention. When that happens the three of us open our doors and jump out got that? remember to duck and roll!Finished with the note, Bobby dropped it into an ash can and acted casual. The air seemed to become four times heavier, the stress on Bobby's conscious enormous. At any second, they were going to jump out of a speeding car, no telling what would happen after heard some whispering behind him, and he knew automatically that it was the signal. This was followed by a blood curdling scream that shocked Simon so much that he slammed on the gas. Bobby heard two cars doors behind him click open, then the sound of bodies hitting the froze for a moment, but then followed his two friends' instructions. He hurriedly shot his door open, tucking in his head to his body and wrapping his arms around himself, and rolling on the road. He hit harder than he wanted, and heard a _crack_ sound from his ankle. Crying out in pain, he had a brief glimpse of the car hurdle off the cliff, Simon still too stunned to eyes followed the car until it hit the bottom, exploding into about ten million pieces, sending up a mushroom cloud that reached the top of the was rained upon by debris, an eyeball of Simon flying by at one point. He was joined by Chris and Dusty, who were scraped up but didn't break anything. "…Now what…?" Dusty asked, too shocked to say anything useful. Chris looked at the frightened rabbit, obviously less scared than him, but still understanding."What else? We go back home. Oh, and I want to give Lumpy a piece of my mind!" he shouted. At that moment, a piece of Simon's brain fell and splattered onto Chris's head. He rubbed it off of his head and looked at it, not saying anything besides "hmm." Dusty and Bobby looked at each other, knowing that the other was thinking the exact same thing: What the heck is wrong with him? So they started walking back, hoping to make it home by morning. Bruised and cut up, Dusty and Chris had to help Bobby, who was struggling, on an ankle that was obviously broken. It was swollen, black and blue, and misshapen.

After setting up camp at dark, they sat down and talked about stuff. Not anything special…just stuff. Dusty was trying to tend to Bobby's ankle, but it was too weirdly broken to tell were to put the splint. In the end, they just left it alone. Dusty started conversation without hesitation."So, Chris, what are you going to be if we get ho-," he was cut off by Chris."WHEN we get home, Dusty. And I'm going to hug Flaky and never let go…" he sniffed. He was starting to truly wonder if he would ever see Flaky again. This was getting hectic. And what would he tell Petunia? That they scared Simon into driving himself off a cliff? That would seem perked up. "I'm going to do Katie until my insides fall out!" he said proudly. He looked over to Chris and Dusty, who were staring at him angrily."That can be arranged," muttered Dusty. Bobby heard him and was furious."JUST BECAUSE YOU AIN'T GOT A GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN BASH ON MINE!" Bobby yelled at him. Dusty was shocked by this, but came back immediately."GIRLFRIEND?! YOU MEAN THAT BLOW-UP DOLL IN YOUR CLOSET?!" Dusty accused. "AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I CHOOSE TO BE SINGLE!""WHAT?! HOW DID YOU- YOU BASTARD! YOU WERE IN MY STUFF AGAIN, WEREN'T YOU?!" Bobby screamed. Dusty jumped and toppled Bobby from his sitting position on the dove at the pair, who were pulling at each other's hair and punching whenever their fists were free. "BLOW THIS DOLL UP!" Bobby shouted, nailing Dusty in the face. Dusty responded by kicking him in the balls and yelling, "YOU PERVERTED FREAK!" Bobby bent over in pain and threw looked up, just to see Dusty getting listed off the ground with something with wings. Chris looked up and saw about 50 black birds, going crazy and swarming around Dusty as he was lifted higher into the shy. This was followed by screaming, then a light rain of the birds finished, they dropped the bones and flew off, but not for long. Bobby stared at the clean bones, all that was left of Dusty, who was standing there and fighting a moment a minute of looking at the remains, Chris yelled, "BIRDS!"He ducked just as they dove again, and they missed. The same was not for Bobby, who wasn't able to move with his broken ankle. He was run through with a jet-stream of birds, almost as if they were a lance. He stood there for a moment, a giant hole in his chest and all of his organs missing. Then the birds took the rest of him, high into the air where Chris couldn't see them devour was up and gone by the time they had hit Bobby, running and screaming like a maniac. He charged forward, not looking back at the birds, which were right behind a few minutes of running, a sight met him that he could have not asked more for. Home! He was about a mile away, but it was certain; the lights to his house were on, and the unmistakable shape of Flaky was moving around inside. He laughed in joy and ran faster than he had ever run before. With his newfound speed, he quickly reached the house a burst through the door. He locked it and heard the countless birds hit the turned around and leapt forward, a big smile on his blood-soaked face. He jumped right onto Flaky's quills, impaling him instantly. He shrieked in shock and ran over to a mirror."CHRIS! NOOOOOOOO! CHRIS DON'T LEAVE ME!" she shouted, trying desperately to get his body off of her death spikes. He slowly faded, letting death take over him.

""Waah! He shouted. Sitting up, he looked around. Just a looked around his room, everything was fine. No birds, no blood, no death. Just his room, filled with posters and CD felt a sharp pain in his back, and jumped up. He pulled something long and sharp out of his skin and stared at it, but he suddenly became too shocked to speak.

It was a red quill.


End file.
